5th March 2007 My grandfather have difficulties breathing..and he really meant it..already bought movie tickets to watch with my parents..Rocky show..hence went to watch..decided to visit my grandfather e next day after my IPP (attachment) which ends at 5pm at TUAS. 6th March 2007 As usual went for IPP..today is a little different cos I had to attend orientations..till late afternoon..I kept checking my hp as I was so bored thru out e orientation..nothing much..cos alot of it I had already read thru in e SOP (standard operational procedure) and tested abit..
I was just looking forward to someone to sms me or to lunch time..well until lunch time..no sms..surprisingly..so went for lunch n prepare to go back for orientation..after lunch..I had a bit of time left so I went back to HR office where my place was..
E moment i open e door I was looking at my hp..and msges came..Msges I nv wanna see..a number of them were jus caller alert from my house and my cousins..and e last msg came..my bro smsed me..the msg wrote:"gong gong gone le"..cos e msg was all about Gs Os Ns..I cldn't n din wan to b sure of it..I know wad it meant..but I just dun believe my eyes..My hands were already trembling..immd called my Mummy..e moment she answered I know she din sound rite..indeed..i asked her:" Mummy..gong gong zhou le ar?" which means my grandfather gone le is it? and she cried..I wanted to choose not to believe..e next moment my vision was blurred..by the tears that I just can't control..I guessed I cried quite loudly..my Supervisor and Colleagues came to me..calmed me..asked me if I need to leave..of course..and smsed n called frenz to cancel all activities for the week..
I called to ask my Dad to fetch me immd..I was so lost..I just can't believe it..why didn't he wait for me..I was supposed to visit him after work..My relatives n Mummy said he tried to wait for everybody to come..but he let go..he waited too long..they couldn't contact me..I went to my uncle house where my grandfather stays..
When I reach..I put down my bag n went in to his room with my cousin..yes..He was lying there breathless..looking up at e ceiling..He could no longer looked at me like how he used to..i touched his hand..so cold n hard like stone..by this time all my relatives are gone to settle e funeral matters..my cousin n aunt n dad were there..then they asked me to tel my grandfather that I m huiping..and I m here already..ask him to go to slp..close his eyes..n rest in peace..I cldn't bring to say so..I just kept crying..So went to calm myself then went in to tell him..
Waited for everyone to come back..then all of us with swollen eyes..packed up my grandfather clothings..and waited for the people to come to bring my grandfather back for make-up..e way they wrap up my grandfather is like as if he is a maniqueen..and all of us proceed to my Eldest Uncle house..
Waited for my grandfather to come back..no one talked..just waited..saw how they dressed my grandfather up..and did e rituals..then put him in e coffin..when they wanted to nail..they asked us all to turn n not to see..I broke down..I knew..for e moment e nail went in..I can nv touch my grandfather again..never..Went home at 7plus 8 to pack my clothings for 4 nights..and waited for my cousin to come n fetch me..
E funeral went on for five days..I stayed thru out..cos I din wan to leave my grandfather at all for his last journey knowing that he is afraid of loneliness..saw people who were never there when my grandfather fell ill..all suddenly appear..cos it's a chance for them to earn money..despise em to e core..f*** up..the nv cared..e last day was 10th March 2007..Everyone was like mad when doing e rituals..it's like they lost their mind..including my Mummy..I had never seen them in such a state before..crying shouting..like nobody's biz..I was so scared..my aunt scream..n hugged me so tight that I din know what to do..I din noe wad more could I do to console them cos I cldn't even console myself..
E people at funeral helped to packed e things..arrange in such a way that it's easier to carry out e rituals..and all of us were crowding ard my grandfather..we kept touching e glass as if we could realli feel him with our bare hands..knowing that hey are going to cover e glass soon..I can't help but kept crying..I will never ever get to see him again..all of us treasure e very last moments we had with him..
rituals went on..as usual..e priest was about to nail e cover of the coffin to e glass..and we are not allowed to see again..I broke down like I never did..shouting for him deep down inside my heart..where can I ever find him or see him again..we were so close..memories flashed back..e time when he brought me for breakfast early in e morning when i was young..e time when i visited him..n when i leave..he will without fail says HOW ARE YOU..HE LOVE ME..HE MISS ME..and I will reply too..even though sometimes he dun noe wad he is saying..but I know he meant it..I always joke to him say we take two days to come to his house..cos I have got no money and need to walk here..then he will scold me..hahas..say that he wan give me money take taxi..of cos I rejected..telling him I was just joking..
Tok!Tok!Tok! There goes my grandfather..I can never ever see him again..e nails when down hitting out HEART hard..went to Mandai..like A very high class place to crement dead people..everything went on..n all of us carried our heavy feet to THAT room where we can see him being sent in to the fire..I was holding my Mum..we were standing in e first row..e machine was moving so slowly..killing us slowly..crying so hard..asking my grandfather to walk faster..when e machine pushed my grandfather to e DOOR OF FIRE..I kneeled to the ground..seeing e fire..knowing he is gone forever..before I left..I said to my grandfather..I WILL ALWAYS LOVE N MISS YOU..and you will always b in my heart..
11th March 2007 Met Josie, Zhen n Del for lunch at BREEKS!!my first time there..not so bad..lolx..before that Jo Zhen n me met up one hour earlier to buy del's present..was supposed to meet del on weekdays to celebrate her birthday..but I cant make it cos my grandfather passed away..Went to IT fair despite e five tiring days..bought a com..was supposed to return my parents money by installment..then a call came to inform my mummy that she striked 4D..a small sum enough to buy one com..
17th March 2007 Wake up at 5am..went to cemetery..watch e digging of my grandmother who was buried 40yrs ago..went on to have breakfast..then collect my grandfather's ashes..there was a queue..we were e first..e person in charged..explaint that my grandfather have pink colour on e bones..which means he did a lot of kind thingy..then went on to collect my grandmother's ashes..collected..went to mandai..placed it at the Columbaria..everything done..went to eat lunch..and rushed home..reached home at 12.45pm..bathed..1pm I was already in my dad's car to work..fast huh??was darn tired by then..
24th March 2007 Early "Qing Ming Jie"..Went to pay respects to my grandfather n grandmother..at last they are together..separated for so many years in two world..as usual..rush back home after lunch to go to work..saturdays had been very tedious for me..
30st March 2007 Was supposed to have a gathering with Sister, Zhen, Del and Sister..Sister rejected in the end..Del could not make it..and Zhen last in fly aeroplane too..so used to them "flying" around..I wonder where they get their wings man..lol..anyway..from wad u can see..act left Jo n me..very bad..supposed to meet Jo ard 5.45..she tried to contact me but cant..cos she called and my phone's tone was like in Malaysia tone..when I reach Jurong Point..called her..she is still at HOME!!OMG..then she rushed down..I bought e tickets first..we smuggled Mac into the theatre watching MUSIC N LYRICS..nice show!!
31st March 2007 Early "Qing Ming Jie" for my grandpa..(my father's father)..after that go home take a shower n went to work..!!look at my saturdays!!always at those kinda places..lol
5th April 2007 Went home after work..tired..falling asleep..9 plus went out with my bro to meet my cousins for a 11.15pm show at Cineleisure..THE NUMBER 23..like story telling story..but kinda like it..unexpected..lol..then my future cousin-in-law sent my younger cousins home first..while waiting my two other cousins n me played Pool..only managed to play two rounds n he's back..went back to their house..played majong..watch a stupid show "BORAT" lame man..R(A) too..hahas..Played Majong till next morning..
6th April 2007 (Good Friday) My father arrived at 8am to fetch us..we went for "BA CHOR MEE" breakfast..YUMMY!!refreshing!!lol..then..decided to go to the temple..where my grandfather is placed there for 49days where monks can pray for him..my eyes were filled with tears again..looked somewhere else..waited for tears to dry..looked back..tears came again..hahas..i just cant help it..!!Sg Govt is so "Giem Peng" laa..they sent so many traffic police down..the whole stretch of cars got SUMMONED!!Well..have they thought of why people parked there!!!!?????cos they reserved all the carparks around the temple!!Arss doot-----...!!!idiotic..My father parked his taxi like 100blocks away??so damn far la..it was like 20 mins walk there u noe..If not for my grandfather..I wldnt walk such a long distance..cos I wanted to visit him.. Went home ard 10 plus..watched Pursuit of Happiness which I borrowed from my cousin..Fell aslp when watching..waited for time to pass to meet del n Jo n zhen at city hall..slept..switched off e alarm..!!then a msg came..zhen said she cant make it..as usual..then woke up..realise Im damn late..wanted to cancel but Del was already on her way lorr..so rushed down..hahas..at least Im not e latest..Jo was..hahas..walked around..wanted to watch movie..I thot since PH watching movie is very ex..so wont have a lot of people..went there to check the timing..it was so packed laa..lol..and we couldnt decide wad to watch cos of both of the picky girls..anyway I dun wann sit with them if they are gonna scream..lol..decide for long..n last decision is Hong Kong Cafe..My gosh..e desserts are nice laa..somemore we ordered Mango Ice..We were like eating Ice in North Pole la..lol..then went to Raffles as Jo wanted to buy Donut..I thot e queue was short..then Jo say so long..then I was like where got..until I see e line behind..I realised there is A SUPER LONG queue..hahas..I thot they are queuing for the spec's shop sales..chey..blurr me..but was quite scary when she mention that recently there was a murder case at one of the restaurant..went to my house..intro MY GIRL drama to them..!!they love it too..thou they looked blurr..but I could see that they were enjoying it laa..lol girls..thanks for ur company :) ultimately it's us from pt3..
