I stopped
Looked around
Looked back
The path I walked had so many footprints
I realised I walked alone

Labels: walk alone

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Another post of the day~

And I'm supposed to blogg about let me see..that particular day that Caden and me went to give Brenda a birthday surprise at 12am!

I actually am not supposed to go out that day..but I did..We left the cake with the candle burning hoping that Brenda opens up her door as soon as possible..and well..She took like very long!
Then actually when walking to find her..Ah bear(Shu Hui) was trying to keep Brenda awake by talking to her on the phone..!

Okay..Then yes!Birthday song for Brenda~then we were talking away..Suddenly..Bomb!Ah Bear whom I don't know her until her appearance appeared like Genie from the teapot!lol..And she shocked Brenda and me! Caden sort of knew that Ah bear is coming la..thats why..NOT FAIR!

then we sat there talking..playing..And stupid Sotong Brenda spread a bit of cheese cake on my leg!And the smell was eeewwww~~~GROSS! So I got no choice but to go into her house and wash..The moment I wanted to turn on the tap!I screamed with hand covering my mouth..!XIAO CHIANG!Oh man..damn!It was late..her mum was like shHh~ I'm like so paiseh can..

After washing..faster ran out to find Ah Bear..And thats when I know Ah Bear!She's cute..funny..haha..And I love her!I called her Ah Bear toO..But I think I called her differently that they gave me that kind of look and laughter..haha..but I insisted on calling her Ah Bear cos I don't have any friends with the name of Ah Bear!Came out..saw the cat that Brenda always fed..I was like..please!The cat came near..and I hid behind Caden..

And yes..Caden and me sent Ah Bear to her corridor since its like 3-5 mins away?Before we go..Caden went sent Brenda back..And I spent sometime with Ah bear!and the cat kept wanting to come to me..I guess it must be due to my BURBERRY SUMMER FRAGRANCE!!haha..Lucky with the BRAVE Ah Bear..I was saved!Then Caden came..and we sent Ah Bear home..

On the way..Ah Bear was like there is a cat beside you..I chose not to believe her cos she told me in a very calm manner!I turned but I couldn't see the cat!So i said that she lied..then she said REALLY!THERE!then I turned..and I immediately JUMPED to the other side and ran away!

Sent Ah Bear home..Caden and me then went to 24 hours to eat..she insisted to walk back to amk after that..so I allowed her to stay over till the first train..we watched the 9pm chinese drama my parents recorded for me..We were really tired..and yes she left at 4 plus near 5 cos My mummy kept coming out to "check" on us! :(

*Ah Bear this whole entry is for you! For scaring me two times in a day! :)

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Help for a friend
Cold shoulder in return
Kindness turned away
Am detested

Nothing can explain how hurt I was. The moment the door open, all i saw was hatred eyes. Expected you to call me like you always did, what I got was a cold stare like "Do I know you?".

From this I believe and I learnt that never ever be a third party in any relationship.
You may have kind intentions, but people don't see it that way.
No matter how close that person is to you, don't ever do it.

**Cos it hurts a lot when your help is not appreciated,and yet your feelings and thoughts are also neglected.

It hurts when the person asked for your help and in the end he/she is treating you this way.
It hurts when you see that person so hurt and you can't do anything to help. The only thing you can do is do what that person says.

Ultimately, you are detested. You might feel that it's okay to be detested by other people for your loved ones, but when it comes to a point when even your loved one, the one you helped gave you that cold stare, cold shoulder, that's what hurts the most.

Labels: What hurts the most

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A moment of jolly
One wrong step
I lost myself
Forgotten
Neglected
Who understands?

Sometimes things just don't always go as plan..and decision made in that split second..can lead everything else the wrong way..

She said I changed..I think I changed..I don't even know myself..who knows me then?

I had so many friends..Everyone leaves their footprint and left..Who stays ultimately?

Perhaps life is just about entering and leaving someone's life..That's why I'm cherishing every moments I have with anyone..For I can never get a second one..

It's one of a kind for each moment..

Celebrated Didi JunKai's birthday at Vivo..bought him a cake..and talked by the river..perfected with the scenery of SENTOSA, cable cars, wind, moon and the stars..And I enjoyed myself..For I found something that can lighten the pain in my heart no one understands..

**my past still bothers me..and I don't wish to think.

I'm sorry Bud..It's a secret..for you..me and my didi..I disappointed you..Sorry..I just need you to understand.

Labels: I don't even know myself..

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A phone came at 1844.!!Well surprised!Cos its from Jahrell? She din know what to study for her COACHING test today.And for her coaching lessons she actually get to play games..And told her I would willingly exchange any of my module for that.(I can understand why she din know what to study..cos the slides mostly cover pictures)haha..

After a while..we came to a topic..BASKETBALL..And the next moment..yes.. Last minute meeting with Caden and her..This time the basketball is for real man..lol..And Caden asked Brenda to come along..but she can't join us..then she was like the arcade one?lol..cos thats what I had been playing during my PRECIOUS 2 weeks holidays.

That basketball in arcade is a way to "fa xie"..let out everything!you just throw and throw the ball like nobody's business till you drop dead.Yeah.And I was late meeting them cos was quarreling with my mummy.Caden reached earlier than Jahrell. Okay..we proceeded to playing basketball at THE REAL COURT this time..

They concluded that my eyesight isn't that good..and I can conclude my basketball skill totally deteriorated..lol..Air ball was what I always get..and I ended up at A..though I love A..but not to extend..haha And Caden went B,C,D,E...arghx..she was like always getting the ball into that "hole" when she is talking and not concentrating..

Well so much so for Caden and me..Jahrell??She finished and was helping us to get the ball..haha and standing and throwing 3 points ball..She is the best among us la..sigh~ OpPss.. I shouldn't have..I learnt that sighing will bring bad luck for 3 years..I guess alot of people had been bad luck for alot of years..

We then went to look for brenda near her block..and all of us studied..it was windy..And I was imitating the MV of jay's song "feng"..lol..they were laughing at my..erhem..expression..and singing of cos..I just needed leaves..lol..you know as in the leaf?haha..and I almost spoiled the impression of Jay Jahrell have..haha..

The sky..red..the wind..cold..and we decided to leave so Jahrell can catch her last train..And I guess I pretty much memorize or remember the last train timing to TPY AND AMK..Arguments went on..I wanted them to leave first so they wont be drenched and so on..need not send me home..In the end..Jahrell got on the last train to TPY..and Caden sent me home..Kind of angry..but know they are worried..thank you to both of you..

Impt: 24hr coffee shop close on monday

Reached home..3 Of us were rushing our unfinished things..and Chatted..smsed..

Well.matters of the heart can only be solved by oneself..by the heart..see, decide and hear from the heart..You love the person and you are happier with the person..why not?:) But like I always emphasize..After any decisions you made, don't ever look back. For once you look back you will regret. No matter what decision you make..I support you..Just be happy. Don't think so much..get over it and done with so you won't be troubled k?

For the next person..know what your heart really wants..don't hurt anyone?not yourself..not them:)

Labels: Basketball rox

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Not too much information on what I did over the holidays..
A few disclosed wont hurt I guess :)
1. Working two part-time jobs
2. Late night meetings
3. Projects

Sunday..The only day I get to rest..I had to wake up at 6.30am? Cos it's my grandfather's birthday..And we bought him a birthday cake..though he might not get to eat..we were there to accompany him!and I guess thats the thing he always yearn for..company..

Everyone need company..be it a loner..he/she will need company one day..

Discussions of my cousin's ROM day went on..and I'm gonna be in dress! Haven yet seen the dress..but well..for my cousin.. :)

Reached my grandma house at 10am..She was very surprised and happy to see me for I have not visited her since CNY due to work..sat beside her and listen her talk for 1.5 hours..though I mostly did not understand..Just being there..lol..and laugh at everything she says?

2pm..Met budx to attend church service at Paya Lebar..And I think the place is fantastic..I was welcomed..By Pastor How,Sister Evelyn, Peishan..! And familiar faces still around..Well..I was pretty into service as this is the first time I ignored my phone for 2.5 hours..

I concentrated and thought of nothing else..it has been a long time since I last praise and worship God..listen to sermon..and cry in the presence of God..

Tears just came naturally..I don't know why..perhaps I was away for too long..Talked to Pastor Lia..And she was like how long was I away?Hmmm..I do would like to be back..but for my family's sake..I wont..I need to work..for my allowance..

Some people just dunno how fortunate they are to be able to be home or out..not needed to be worried about money..and I am different..but I'm enjoying the life I'm leading now..Tired..but happy with the way things are now..

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Looking forward to meet a friend on Saturday whom I'm rather close to recently..It has been a long time since I had a close friend..one who can always hang out with me..one who is just a phone call away..one who bring happiness to my life most importantly..

I know I can never be your best friend..and You don't want another best friend..You lost faith..but I hope you know..without you knowing..you brought joy to my life by being a friend of mine..Whom I can shop with..play with..talk with and ton with..And I miss this feeling which I used to have..Like I always said..I don't expect much..Just the way we are and I'm contented..

I neglected a lot of my friends cos of a decision I made in the past..I guess like you said..be aware of Karma..and perhaps..it's happening..

I was working happily..well trying to faster get through the day..After serving a few customers..I finally get the time to rest and take a look at the SMS which came like 20mins ago..

That SMS broke my heart..it made me screamed so loud in my heart..it made my heart teared..my eyes was flooded..and I tried not to blink..I never expecting anything more even if I'm falling deeper..

It's like when you found your happiness..someone you can share everything..your joy and sorrows..With one SMS your happiness is destroyed?I tried not to think..but failed..I was like..Caden..Lets drink tonight and I seriously need them to numb myself..

And yes..After work..I rushed home for dinner..And rushed to town again to meet Caden..I finally know that feeling of being numbness..Like nothing else matters..I din know what to do..And I finally know what is really no appetite..No appetite is when I haven eat my breakfast for the morning..afternoon 2.30 I ate 4-5 mouths and thats it..dinner I can't eat..And that is no appetite..

Caden and me met at Robinsons Centrepoint as she wanted to take a look at XingYu..And she did..She was like..wow!she so man..!haha..then we proceeded to PS to shop for my blouse which I couldn't get during lunch time..Now I'm looking for a white vest!haha..I must be mad..well shopping is one way of letting off..then I will have to suffer at the end of month..

Hmmm..recently you might see me at Douby Exchange arcade playing like everyday..yes!I love basketball whenever I need to "fa xie"..And I did with Caden..not to the extend..Hmmm..I wonder..I can never reach stage 4 with you la? But with Jahrell.. Hmmm..anyway it was about letting off..for controlling the tears in my eyes at my workplace and in the MRT..

You told me to not feel hurt..how can I not..when my friend is thinking that way..You said never to avoid..well what's the difference for the cooling period?I dunno..We shall talk tomorrow when we meet up..cos you are my friend.

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I'm glad to have good companies recently..and I'm enjoying every seconds of my life except for some seconds that nearly made me cried..

Fortunate to have good and caring friends around who never fails to take turn to be there..who are just a phone call away..And I'm beginning to like last minute meetings..they are fun..exciting..and carefree..

You made me believe in last minute meetings..My life revolves around planning..and always everything have to go according to plan then it will be called successful..

However..recent last minute meetings are perfect..and I realized..I had never been really very happy..and I was the happiest I guess..Or the most fortunate person on earth to have a good company..and many prizes..sweets, mickey, minnie and xiao pang!

But I lost the minnie..You told me not to hang..I did not heed your advice..and indeed I lost it..I nearly cried when I realized it's missing..And I dunno whether I hit Caden hard? I just kept punching her hand and pulling her shirt..!For a moment I went crazy..Mickey and minnie were supposed to be together..perhaps it's just not meant to be..

I cried not for the toy..but for the memories we shared when getting it..I can never let go memorable things..never....I always fail..I just hope when we get a new one another time..It wil be the same situation..the atmosphere..the feelings..

I'm glad I still have xiao pang.. :) And I had been collecting The MAC happy meal toy..I got everything except for one..!!the donkey's BABY!and I'm going mad from searching for it..or should I say my two kind friends? They searched so SO many places..and just now I even went Lim Bang with Caden..So ULU..Yet they also sold out the toy le..I saw the whole sad..and the people told me it's for lucky draw prize..I'm like so desperate for it la..I asked them can I have it?Or can I buy?Or how do I get the lucky draw..they say the lucky draw belongs to someone le..

Arghx..I appreciate both of your effort in finding the donkey's BABY for me though we still can't find..I want it..And I'll find it..But I doubt I can find it..Somethings are just not meant to be..And you can't force it..I guess even if I go Malaysia also dun have la..It's just fated..And I'm beginning to believe in fate..I'm happy with the current situation I'm in..ton at times..last minute meetings..heart to heart talk..being scolded ben dan..haa..I'm living care-freely..

Asking for nothing much..but you to be happy.

Labels: Happiness is not what I can decide.Fate decides it all..

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To be continued..and I'm not continuing what I said..cos someone commented that I shouldn't get so detailed..and shouldn't really mention her?Alright..I will not..Well..

For today..I went to pay respects/ "bai bai" my grandfather for his 100days death anniversary..After which had lunch and chats with cousin..

Proceed to Woodlands Library..Did projects..never really do..merely discussed how to continue the project and dedicated job..

Last minute meeting..Went bugis..Ate at V8 with your recommendation..food and company was simply delicious..haa..right way to describe a company?Had lots of fun..And i seriously enjoyed myself..I can that you do too.. :) thanks for your company..but I din take that long to get my things right? haha.. and I will wear that necklace..hmmm..well bball is a good way to let off?haa..alright..you got your sweet and I got my things..

Happy.. :D

Labels: A day that belongs to me..happy

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Ton-ing session organized by me for I wanted to drink..

Worked from 12.30pm-9.30pm..And during dinner break..I was happily eating My happy meal..and then Xingyu came telling me her father wants me to join them..I rejected..she came again..i rejected her once more..In the end..I thought it was quite rude that her father invited me over..and i rejected..therefore I went..well..awkward is the only word to descibe the situation..cos a father and daughter snatching over me..I made escape by joining a friend at the next table..

Back at work..Jahrell came at 9pm? Yeah..Then she went to buy drinks for our Movie Ocean13?After buying drinks..she came up..and thats the moment I made a fool of myself right there in front of her..I fell from the small chair while trying to clean a glass panal..Alright..

After work..Met Jahrell at Mac!I ate Happy Meal..She ate double cheese..We both like cheese burger!lol..to be continue..too tired..

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A sms came from you on 9th June 2007 12.26am: "I will just have to bare with it. I will just have to cry my days over w it. Its ok. Cos even if u say keep in contact. There's no diff U said u wont do this again. But you do. Nvm.. There is just no diff even if we "keep in contact" i know u don love me no more."

I was busy with all my projects and all..and there you came up with all your nonsense..and I had enough..Yes..I was never good enough..you wanna find someone (1000000000times) better..and I wish you luck..cos I can't give you the love and concern you need..I can give you all the attention that you need..I can't give you the time..Yes..I can never be better..And I serious wish you the best..I can never be enough..I can never be the one you are looking at..you dun see me..I'm too small for you to notice me..May you see the person who loves you..loves you more..I'm sorry for never being good enough..

Goodbye, the last time I let go.

Labels: Never good enough..ITE.

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Jahrell's last minute meeting..haa..

On saturday after my lunch break..Jahrell called me..I missed her call..And by the time i call back..it was 30 minutes later..I suspect you were here..But you said you were at Sunny Island..And I wonder..where the hell is that??Well..yes I know..Singapore..chatted like a while..and you asked where am I?That qn gave you away..I KNEW you came..

Well was glad to see you..and your right hand was handcuffed!haa..You laughed at the bung opposite..and we laughing and talking..and stop pushing me to her!!Hello!You came to see whether AM I DEAD or not..not to sell me okay? Well..I guess she was jealous that we were laughing away..But it doesn't bother me..cos I'm happy!

And yeah..you were alone..then you went to meet up with your friends..I was supposed to finish work at 6.30..then continue to work at my opposite counter selling shoe..then in the end..they dun need my help..so was supposed to finish work at 9.30..then changed back to 6.30..then couldn't meet Caden..In the end..they needed me to help out..After working 10.30-6.30 at Sunglass counter..6.30-9.30 i proceeded on to selling shoe opposite..

And Xingyu was supposed to finish work..but she came back at 9pm saying just to see me..It doesn't matter..cos I dun need your company..And yes!I'm meeting Caden so that Xingyu can't send me home..instead Caden my good buddy did!So we took rebound..to Marina bay..and back..we sat at two seater..and ultimately gave up our seat..went out at City hall cos Jahrell called me and ask where am I..since im like one stop away..we alighted at Douby Ghaut and waited for the next train at cabin 16!! And we did not say hi..just like strangers..

Well..I asked Jahrell to at least remember to say bye to me..!!haa..and she asked wanna chill..hello..for the whole day i only had one meal..I have dinner at home..and yupp..I'm not prepared..so last minute..Jahrell asked for Caden to join..and..surpriseingly the "AH BENG" and "AH MENG" get along quite well..at the very leats they managed to survive without me around..

I bathed..had a few mouth of my dinner for nowadays I'm not hungry..haa..with can opener and keys..I went down to meet them..we chilled at the multi-storey carpark! And.. with one pack of peanuts..marshmellows..Two bottle of corona and one bottle of green tea for Jahrell..Anything for Caden..And Ribena for me..I'm young eh..haha..

Talked and played..peanuts throwing..soccer with bottle..and yupp..most importantly admiring the stars..Cos i'm searching for that stars..And I hope that one fine day I will be able to reach out to the star that belongs to me..And..discussions of "ton-ing" went on..Yupp..both of them landed in my room at..12 plus?

We watched My girl drama..and Saw3..And I made them to stay up to finish watching with me or I will never be able to finish..I'm a scary cat la..and Caden slept like when the show just begin?Thanks so much for your COMPANY cAden..!Well..at least i got Jahrell there with me still..and thanks for staying up watch finish with me..appreciates..after whcih..blog viewing..and friendster..

Computer off..and we went to our heart to heart talk session..well..we shared same perception about physical contact..And you found out what you wanted to know..I din explain much..cos no one believes what I did..no one stand for me..perhaps Caden..and well you are the next one..thanks..for not being judgmental..I definitely hope it was really just a heart to heart to talk..nothing more..And we talked through till 5/6plus?

Well..you got to know me..and I know you had something for..haa..thats a secret..well..at least I enjoyed myself with your company..my bolster was in your arms almost throughout the whole night with your cologne smell on it?

That was the first time I hear you speak so much chinese..and so much to share..I;m glad I stayed awake throughout..just to know you are fine..this two days is over..its now 11June07..Misery gone..I hope you are happy again..And we agreed that they should leave their toothbrush at my house so they can ton more often with teeth brushed in the morning..!!lol..im glad you two could get along..

A night of new friendship..laughters..deeper understanding..loneliness gone..memories erased..with the company of 3 different people..it was a happy night..

The next day..I gotta work..managed to catch 3hours of sleep after they left.. And I needed help..Xingyu wanted to send me home again..HELP!and Caden came to my help..well Caden said they will take turn to send me home..so I got like body guards..Cden for today which is sunday sent me to admiralty mrt station so Xingyu won't wait for me..And tomorrow..Jahrell's turn..haa..Xing ku both of you le..!thanks alot my two heros! I rejected her for the second time..nothing I can do..

Shows are gonna be put up..and hopefully she will give up..What I want is what I can never get..she is not what I want..Living my days to the fullest in earning money..hahhahaha and I miss my dumb dumb Y.E.S. 9.3.3 friend who went China..I had been suan badly by Jahrell and Caden..Gum gum need dumb dumb!!Arghx!!quick quick come back dumbdumb.. :(

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You Are a Dare Devil

For you, life is one big dare. And you're all in for any adventure. Others find you exciting, inspiring, and a bit intimidating. You're biggest challenge at this point is trying to top yourself!

You Are a Sleek Black Bra!

Subtle, sophisticated, and classy. You're not the first woman a man notices in the room... But you're the one he remembers a week later. You need a guy who will make a lasting impression on you too!

You Are a Good Friend Because You're Loyal

You stick with your friends no matter what, even if you feel like they're doing the wrong thing. You believe in letting people figure out their own path in life. It's not your place to interfere. And part of your loyalty means that you'll do a lot for your friends. You definitely go the extra mile. You'll even do great things for friends without them asking. After all, that's what friendship is all about. You are truly a friend for life. And you have friends you've known since you were a kid. Your friends can count on you to do a favor, remember a birthday, or just be there to listen. Your friends need you most when: They can't turn to anyone else You really can't be friends with: Fickle people who change friends quickly Your friendship quote: "Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows."

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are passionate, romantic, and emotional. You put love first in your life, even though you have often been disappointed by it. You expect to be swept of your feet, and you never expect infatuation to die out. Underneath it all, you are scared that you aren't lovable. Your insecurity has ruined many relationships, as you are unable to see the love that's really there. You are secretly afraid of being alone. Confronting your insecurities is incredibly painful.

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ESFP)

Your personality type is playful, charming, open minded, and energetic. Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 5% of all men You are Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.

Your Love Style is Eros

For you, love is all about the passion! And chances are, you're currently in love. You have a strong physical response to love... And you are great at committing (As long as the person makes your toes curl!)

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Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out. Your heart is open to where ever love takes you! Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking What turns you off: fighting and conflict Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

You Are Really Not Happy

You may have noticed that things aren't going too well for you lately. Your life never used to be like this, but it seems like happiness is slipping away from you. You definitely need a change, because whatever you have going on isn't working. It's time for you to shake things up - even if it means totally changing your life path.

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people. You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together. Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly. People crave your praise and complements.

Your Lust Quotient: 45%

You are definitely a lustful person, but you do a good job of hiding it. Your friends would be surprised to know that your secretly very wild!

Your Sensitivity Score: 91%

You are an extremely sensitive person. You notice everything. You've probably been called overly sensitive before, and it's partially true. Highly sensitive people tend to be highly intelligent. And you just can't turn off that part of you.

What Guys Think of Your Long Straight Hair...

Sexy, desirable, and hard to please. A girl who's so stunning that you've got them lined up around the block!

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This school term I'm so busy..practically I have no free time..My life is filled with Projects..Tutorials..and Work..I'm really so tired..even when I am doing business in the toilet..I busy doing project also..I do not have one minute to rest..late night..and early morning is what I had been doing..Every minute I'm either rushing tutorial or projects..Seriously I need A BREAK from everything..And If I have a choice..I told many of my friends..I will give them a knife..just stabbed me if you wanna save me from all this..Never will I have enough sleep..enough money..enough time..and I have been skipping too many meals that I can survive with one meal for the day..and that one meal I can barely finish..Everything is bringing me down..Im dead tired..I need a break..time to myself..

Will anyone who loves me kill me..

Labels: Kill me and I thank you..

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我
Tan Hui Ping
Born 21st Sept 1987
Virgo
Stubborn, Short-term memory lost, Sensitive, Pessimistic, Good listener

珍惜

Each and everyone that came across my life
Evey moment regardless of good or bad moments
Everything that I have

讨厌

Being alone
Insects
Backstabbers
Being forgetful

1.My Girl Crystal ball
2.PDA phone
3.PSP RED
4.MacBook Pro
5.External hard-disk
6.Passport
7.Car Liscense
8.Canon camera
9.MI BMW car

-== Say what?! ==-

-=Goals 2007=-

Waist of 26 inch (Don't even think of how much it is NOW!!)

UP UP my GPA to 3.5 (GPA is 3 NOW)

Enter University-hopefully SMU (If not, work n study part-time)

Pursue a Banking & Finance Degree (Don't think it's a 3min dream)

Nothing is impossible,for it will be impossible when you don't even try.

-== Beloved ==-

Audrey
Joanna
Sister-Irene
Biao Mei-Xin Hui
Kylie-Josie
Cousin-Li Ting
ShopShop!!
Sahara-SBM CLUB VP
Sisters-Irene n Ben
Desmond
Caden Cecelia-Buddy
Chee Geok-missed!




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